Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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