We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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