Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
