Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
