i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
