Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
