Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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