i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
