As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
