I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
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Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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