brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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