So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
