And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
