The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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