Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
