have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
