So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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