Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
