He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
