awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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