Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
