So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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