Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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