i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
