Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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