You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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