it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
