Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
