It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have tasted many bathrooms
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
