Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize