every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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