Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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