was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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