She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
