Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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