so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
