i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No subtext here. People are naked.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
