For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
