Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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