No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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