I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
