I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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