It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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