in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
