i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
