maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
