I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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