Dual....:-)
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
