My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
