dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
