Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
