Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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