Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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