ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I only lived at night.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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