I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
