whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
