I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
