You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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