Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
