just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
