we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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