mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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