I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
