apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
